Earlier this week I attended a memorial for my friend's brother. He was 23.
Two days ago I learned that a classmate passed away. He was 21.
Both lost their battle with mental health.
My mind is in all sorts of places right now and I'm not exactly sure how to explain it. I felt like a stranger sitting at the memorial for my friend's brother, as I didn't really ever know him and was more in attendance to show love and support for her. I didn't cry and yes, I was sympathetic, but I otherwise I felt like a stranger who wasn't supposed to be there.
When I learned of my classmate though, my reaction was different and his passing was much more effective on my heart than I could've imagined. Yes, we were friends, but we never really hung out with each other. We were more like friends from afar. He kept up with my life and I kept up with his via social media but other than that we never really talked.
My heart hurt though, much more than I could've ever planned for. I could actually feel the heaviness of my heart.
Perhaps it was because I kept up to date on his life - the achievements, the wonders, the art. Or perhaps it was because his passing was so sudden and so unexpected.
Mental health is something that we seem not to talk about, but very much know it exists. Like a great big secret that could destroy the family if it were to be let out. But it's not a secret because it's very much real and very much dangerous.
Through all of this, I couldn't find the words to explain my thoughts and feelings on young suicide and mental health; so I wrote a screenplay that hopefully conveys those feelings. I have no plans to revise this nor incorporate it into any current projects. This draft serves solely as a statement of where my mind is.
Read it here: Skeletons Draft